A Much Lamer Version of The Breakfast Club
by idkgba27
Summary: Have you seen the Breakfast Club? Well this is pretty much it but a much South Park ier version. Characters: Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Butters, Garrison AU lots of ship teasing
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi!**

**So a while ago I saw somewhere that someone had proposed a Breakfast Club au for South Park. I loved the idea so here we go. I don't remember where I saw that post so…..**

**I'm not completely sure how this will work out yet but it will be inspired and some scenes very similar to the movie. So this here is just the opening.**

**Also this here is my 50th South Park fanfic. Originally I was going to post a one-shot for my 50th but I changed my mind so the one-shot will probably be number 51.**

**Not necessarily any particular ship in this fic but there's ship teasing for: Style, Kyman, Buttman, Stenny, and maybe K2 and Kyutters.**

**Hopefully I don't fail…**

**Please read and please enjoy :)**

As soon as his feet hit the ground Kyle takes off not bothering to listen to the remainder of his mother's rant which he'd been on the receiving end of since yesterday afternoon when he had returned home to find out that his absence at school that day had not gone unnoticed. It really wasn't fair that he would have to be spending his Saturday on school grounds locked away in the cafeteria with the real delinquents. Apparently the school didn't understand that he wasn't _that _kind of rule-breaker and didn't care about his passing grades and pride. He'd been caught looking a little too young and despite his charms and grace had been unable to convince the mall security guard that he wasn't from the local high school and that he certainly wasn't ditching any classes.

He sighs to himself, already dreading having to enter the school building and swings his backpack over his shoulder before looking back at his mother offering her a wave as her eyes narrow at him. To add yet another layer of misfortune to his life he was forced to endure the car ride to school with his mother who unlike his father showed no mercy when it came to lecturing and he could only hope that by the time that this whole fiasco would be over that his mother would be done with her scolding and go back to being a more tolerable level of irritating.

At least this time they were both in agreement, though his mother put all the blame of Kyle's actions on her son, she was utterly embarrassed to have her Kyle, the boy she had raised since conception, be reduced to having the same punishment as the deviants who surely attended Saturday detention however that wasn't enough to stop her from dropping him off. So Kyle takes a brief moment to scan the parking lot, catching glimpses of his fellow troublemakers before opening the door to South Park High, bracing himself to what was sure to be the biggest waste of time he had faced yet.

….

"Now, mister, is this going to be the first time or last time that your mother and I are going to have to go through this?"

"Last time, sir."

It takes every ounce of courage he has to not look down as he mutters those three words pathetically. It was so stupid, this situation and the blond boy himself, so, so very stupid and his parents had no problem reminding him. Normally Butters was much better at executing plans but it figures that his first plan that doesn't involve schoolwork or housework or just work in general would go wrong and now he was having to face the consequences. At least Saturday detention would be much kinder to him than the two adults currently sitting in the front seat, turned and staring him down with disappointment as obvious as ever in their eyes.

"It better be the last time or else I really will give you something to regret."

Butters' head lowers ever so slightly with a small nod as his father turns back in his seat to face forward, watching him from the rear-view mirror as Butters shifts in his seat trying his best to find a comfortable position to sit on. Nearly seventeen years old and Butters was still being treated as a child, receiving regular scolding and occasional spankings when his behavior became too much for his parents to deal with. What had occurred on Friday was one of the rare moments when Butters did something other than what was expected of him and even if Butters misbehaving wasn't a common occurrence it didn't mean he would receive any slack.

"Even if you're in detention we still expect you to be productive in there, do you understand?'

He looks over to his mother but instead of responding with a nod and a "yes, ma'am" Butters bites on his lips, looking down at his lap as he speaks back.

"But we ain't allowed to do anythin' but n-nothin' in there."

"Butters, are you giving your mother attitude?"

His father's voice quickly captures his attention and Butters' eyes shoot up, his voice in a weary, stuttering mess.

"'C-Course n-not, sir, I, uh, I…."

"Butters, your mother and I are getting sick and tired of all your back talk. If you know what's good for you then you'll go to your detention, do some work, and afterwards be in a much better attitude when we come to pick you up. Now do I need to repeat myself?"

"No, sir, I understand."

"Then you better get going, son."

The boy nods once more and steps out of the car not even having a chance to turn around before his parents are driving off, presumably to have fun, which is something that they apparently are unable to have with Butters around, and Butters can only watch as their car drives off into the distance, leaving him to fend for himself.

It's not until Butters has made it up the staircase leading to the front door does he realize that he had forgotten to say his goodbyes to his parents and he can only whisper, "Oh, hamburgers….", to himself because he already knows that forgetting to have done so is just one more thing his parents will have to punish him for.

…..

"Son, I just want you to know that you're not in trouble with me at all over what happened yesterday."

Stan quirks a brow and turns his head towards his father who's parked right in front of the school and right in front of a 'no parking' sign. It doesn't come as a surprise to him that his father isn't mad at him. Randy might be a loving father but he's also a bit of a reckless imbecile and that's putting it lightly.

"If I'm not in trouble than why am I here?"

"'Cause your mother, that kid's parents, and the school are mad at you."

"Oh."

The teen rolls his eyes and props his elbow against the passenger side door of his father's old pick-up truck, resting his chin on his fist and looking out at the door. He's not really in the mood for his father or this school or anything else for that matter. He's not even looking forward to the end of his detention because he's got practice today, has practice every day actually and if it wasn't for his father forcing him into athletics then he'd happily quit the baseball team but that wasn't the case and his father was quick to remind him of that.

"Now, let's just get this out of the way so you can get to practice. You're lucky that the coach is still letting you come after what happened."

"Yeah, so lucky."

Of course his father fails to catch the sarcasm that's so blatant in his tone and Stan looks to him just in time to see his father's eyes sparkle, reminiscing on the South Park Cow's undefeated streak in baseball which was actually due to many different factors, none being Stan's athletic ability.

"You're just such a talented kid, Stan, and I'd hate for your baseball career to end like your hockey career did. Damn, you should've won that game. You were so close, right there and…."

Stan takes that as his cue to leave, practically jumping from his dad's car and running over to the school door, not bothering with acknowledging his father's farewell.

….

"Oh, poopsikins, I really wish you'd stay out of trouble. We could've had so much fun together."

There's no response from Cartman but a small growl as his mother pinches the fat of his cheek. She pulls away and sighs as she drives up to the front of the school but turns back to look at Cartman when he finally speaks.

"This is fucking bullshit. I was just here last week! I'm telling you, mom, this is all a fucking conspiracy. Garrison has it out for me I just know it."

His mother tilts her head and frowns because it's really breaking her heart to see her son be, as he would put it, a 'victim of the system'. However part of her, a part which she would never allow her son to see, was quite happy that Cartman would be in detention this Saturday and not at home where she had some, ahem, 'business' to attend to. Cartman wasn't a cheap child and lately he'd been wanting so much that she had no choice but to put in some extra hours at work which consisted of selling herself to whomever was willing to pay, whether the price be decent or not, of course she couldn't let Cartman know that.

"Now, honey, I know it doesn't seem fair but maybe it'll do you some good. Maybe you can make some new friends?"

"All the kids at my school are a bunch of assholes."

"Eric, I really wish you'd stop with that naughty language. You're such a cute little boy and that foul mouth of yours really isn't appeali-"

Luckily for Cartman, he doesn't get to listen to his mother compliment him and call him a "little boy" which was something embarrassing to be called when you were as cool and manly as he was. Unluckily for a certain orange-clad figure, Cartman's mother had been too busy with her son to notice a boy crossing the street and wasn't aware of anything out of the ordinary until a thud was heard.

"Oh, dear, what was that?"

Cartman rolls his eyes but smiles to himself nonetheless for the distraction and simply points in the direction of the school.

"It's nothing, mom, just drop me off over there."

…

**A/N: Well that's the first chapter!**

**More up some other time.**

**The last part with Cartman wasn't originally going to be added since there was no dialogue in the original scene with the "criminal" or the "basket case" but I decided to have Cartman make his appearance here instead of the next chapter.**

**I have yet to decide who will be the janitor so if you have any suggestions then please tell. (Also it can't be Garrison. He's already the teacher a.k.a. the dick)**

**Also I really hope y'all understood who that was that got ran over.**

**Cya next time!**

**Thanks for reading 3**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hi everybody!**

**Here's the next chapter!**

**Took me longer than I thought it would to get it out but stuff happens so….**

**Please read and please enjoy :)**

Kyle doesn't bother looking up from the table top until he hears someone above him clear their throat and looks up to see a black haired boy who's gazing down at him expectedly. He's seen this kid around before but has only spoken to him maybe once at the most and doesn't even know his name just that it starts with an 'S'. He follows the boy's gaze to the spot beside him and shrugs not really caring whether or not he has company though it is a bit surprising that this other boy would choose to sit so close considering that they're in the cafeteria with plenty of space.

It seems though that the other boys have also decided to sit all within close vicinity of one another and Kyle watches with bored half-lidded eyes as the two other boys walk by him and now it makes sense as to why the other boy would chose to sit next to him. The other three kids aren't like them, aren't normal and he can't help but look at his neighbor and chuckle at the appearance of their company.

There's a particularly scrawny blond who just seems too uncool to be authentic but Kyle's seen him before and knows that even the large grandpa-esque sweater that he's got on still isn't enough to show how much of a dork he really is and when he takes a seat at the table right behind him he can't help but cringe at the proximity of this loser to him. Considering how much of a loser this kid is it's more than a bit surprising when the next teen to come in plops up in the seat beside him. Kyle only knows this kid to be trouble and he only waits for three whole seconds before grunting, capturing the blond boy's attention, and simply pointing to another table, smiling to himself when he's finally alone. Kyle watches from the corner of his eyes at the rather fat boy who's sitting directly behind and only looks away when he's captured the brunet's attention, his cheeks glowing with red for a reason he can't explain. The last kid to walk in looks rather dirty and unimpressive that is until Kyle catches his gaze, their eyes locking and the boy's eyes are such a beautiful hazel color that it almost makes him forget about the dirt stains on his face and his ripped parka which is a rather bright obnoxious orange.

"Goddamnit, did you kids really have to show up? Yet another day I'm going to have to spend here at school teaching you lit-"

"Excuse me, uh, Garrison is it? I think there's been a mistake. I don't belong here. I don't know if you're aware of who I am but-"

"As I was saying, since you deviants actually showed up I guess I have no choice but to keep you here until…."

Kyle tilts his head a bit offended at just being completely ignored as he stares at the man before him. Luckily he's never had him as a teacher but he's heard all about him and his unconventional teaching methods. Though he's dressed appropriately enough he just doesn't seem as if he belongs in the role of a teacher and from what Kyle knows about this man he shouldn't even be allowed anywhere near minors.

"Detention let's out at f-four o' clock today, sir."

It feels as if everyone's eyes are on him as soon as the answer slips past his mouth but he couldn't help but finish Mr. Garrison's sentence. However by the way Garrison's eyes glaze over in boredom it's obvious that Butters once again is unappreciated.

"Did the rest of you hear that kid? Now I'm going to try to, ahem, enjoy myself in the teacher's lounge so I want all of you to sit here and try to remember that if you're going to fuck up at least try not to get caught."

"What kind of a fucking lesson is that?!"

Kyle turns quickly, narrowing his eyes at the boy behind him because the last thing he needs is for Garrison to get angry with them. Alas it's too late and Kyle watches as Garrison walks over to the scrawny blond kid, holding out his hand in expectation.

"Kid, you look like the sort of loser who'd actually bother coming prepared to school so why don't you pass out some paper and pencils to the rest of your peers."

"Um, yes, s-sir."

"Well, kids, I was just going to let you all do nothing but since Eric has such a desire for learning I'm assigning each and every one of you an essay, at least, let's say, a thousand words, on who you think you are."

"'Who we think we are'? Garrison, I hate to make a scene but if you make me write something that fucking gay I might just turn homo too."

Garrison's rolls his eyes barely bothering to give Eric another glance as he walks back to the front of the cafeteria.

"Oh, Eric, we already know you're a closet case."

"What?! I'm no fucking fag-"

"As I was saying, you're all going to write this essay and no writing the same word a thousand times or any of that other bullshit. Maybe by the time you're finished you'll realize that detention is a waste of everyone's time and chose not to come next time."

"Well, Mr. Garrison, sir, I can already t-tell ya that I ain't gonna get in trouble again 'cause-"

"Sit down and shut up, Butters."

Kyle quirks his brow at the odd name and sighs as it becomes more clear as to the type of people he'll be spending his Saturday with and to make matters worse he can see Butters standing at his table, already having passed out the essay supplies, mumble an apology before taking his seat.

"S-Sorry, sir, for the interruption."

"Now like I've been trying to say for the past ten minutes, I'm going to be in the teacher's lounge but don't any of you get any bright ideas because it's right down the hall and I'll be leaving the door to the cafeteria open. If any of you let out the tiniest sound I'll hear it, understood?"

"Hey, Garrison, I've got a question."

There's no need for Kyle to take a look because the annoying shrill of that voice has already been associated with that Eric kid who sits behind him and he's not sure if he's looking forward to his question or not because judging by what Eric's already said it'll definitely be irritating though it could prove interesting.

"Yes, Eric?"

"I'm a bit, how should I put this… _concerned _with the demographics of this room. Just look around we've got the poor kid, ew, a fag, double ew, and a fucking ginger! The only okay one is that jock asshole and he's probably already caught gingervitis by now just from sitting next to 'it'."

Well, what Eric had to say was interesting but in an even more irritating was then Kyle had been expecting being referred to as a 'ginger' was enough to piss him off but being called an 'it'? Before Kyle can even attempt to address him, Garrison is crossing his arms over his chest and staring down the boy behind him.

"Guess you won't have to worry about demographics when you're back here next Saturday for another detention and just when I thought I'd have myself a free day..."

Garrison turns his back to the kids as he walks out the cafeteria door and even when he's down the hall Kyle can still hear him mumbling insults about 'stupid ass kids these days'.

**A/N: This chapter was going to be longer but I wanted to get it out already so yeah….**

***responses, responses, responses***

**Serendipityrain711- As always thank you for the support 3**

**The movie is just lovely in all aspects: plot, writing, characters. When I saw the prompt I couldn't pass it up!**

**XXforget-x-me-x-notXXX – Well, I do plan on finishing this fic and all and I'm glad to have left a good first impression. (Hopefully it doesn't go to downhill from chapter 1….)**

**AnarchyCreations – Jeez 'potential' is a scary word but I try *shrugs*. Hope you liked this!**

**Guest – I didn't find out about "The Brunch Club" until I googled "South Park Breakfast Club" in an attempt to find the original prompt. I liked the choice of cast but yeah it wasn't finished…. While that fic seemed to be more directly inspired I hope to make mine, well, _mine_. Also thanks for recommending Chef as the Janitor. I thought Garrison could have been a good janitor as well but ultimately I needed him for the Principal role (though he's just a teacher in this fic). I'm a bit worried with writing Chef but I shall do my best.**

**Thanks to all reviewers, favoriters, and followers!**

**See you all in the next chapter!**

**Thanks for reading 3**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello there!**

**Um, story time….**

**Please read and please enjoy :)**

Butters is the first to hear it, a small sound almost as if something is breaking and the second he turns around it becomes obvious as to what, or more specifically who it is that is causing it. He can already sense his parent's disapproval even if he's not the one currently chewing off his nails only to spit them out onto the floor and even though no one has ever cared to hear his voice before he still feels the urge to ask the boy behind him to stop. The problem is that he doesn't know the kid's name, has never seen him in the sixteen years he's lived in South Park and that in itself is pretty amazing considering how small this town is.

He watches in silence, biting down on his lip as he thinks of what to say but chances are that this kid wouldn't listen anyways and even Butters knows this. When the boy rips off the nail of his pinkie finger using nothing but his teeth he looks up, meeting Butters' worried gaze with a tilted head and knitted brows. Even from this distance Butters can see the freckles on this kid's face and his missing tooth but he can't even tell his hair color, his hood pulled tightly and covering him up. There's something off about this kid and though Butters doesn't want to be mean he can't help the disgust on his face and the boy spits the nail in his direction.

"Wow, I thought you would've kept that for later considering you probably don't have anything at home to eat. You poor people really are a bunch of weirdos."

Butters watches as the kid's eyes shoot daggers at Eric and he can already feel his nerves building, his hands forming fists as he grinds his knuckles together, and he turns to look at Eric too though not as angrily as the boy behind him is.

"Jeez, uh, Eric that ain't r-really a nice thing to say."

Eric's brown eyes are quick to look in Butters' directions and as they narrow he takes notice of how obviously nervous the small blond is and smirks though he's not sure whether or not it'll be worth the trouble to have this boy as his plaything. For now though he focuses his attention back on the strange kid who's pulling his hood tighter to cover his mouth. He looks familiar or at least the orange parka he's wearing does and it only takes him a couple seconds to realize who it is he's looking at.

"Wait, a fucking second…. Didn't my mom run you over earlier? Shit, you're still alive after that? You're like a fucking roach."

The only response Eric gets is a narrowed set of hazel eyes glaring at him and he laughs at the middle finger that's facing his direction before looking back at Butters.

"Is your name really Butters?"

Eric cocks an brow as he watches the boy grind his knuckles together and he winces as Butters attempts to put his words into a coherent sentence.

"Well, that's just…. just an ol' nickname my r-real name is L-Leopold. You can c-call me what ya l-like though."

"Can I call you a fag?"

Butters cringes at the word but laughs anyways though it's obviously forced, no genuine happiness at all.

"I'd r-really prefer ya call me by my n-name…"

"Fag it is then."

Eric doesn't bother waiting for a mumbled response and looks forward at the mass of red curls in front of him. It really is disgusting, all these people in this room and he's not even sure why he chose this table. That Butters kid was the first one at it and it probably has his faggy germs all over it and now his view is this ginger kid.

He's known the qualifications for being ginger ever since he could remember: red hair, pale skin, and freckles. While the first two are obvious but he can't tell if this kid has freckles and that could make all the difference, changing him from a disgusting ginger to an only half-disgusting day walker. He leans forward trying to get a better look at the kid's face but it's no use at this angle.

"Hey, you!"

Kyle however isn't interested, burying his face into the crook of his arms in an attempt to block out Eric's yelling. He's barely met him, hasn't even spoken to him and already doesn't like him, can't stand him and his annoying voice that's only getting louder the more he ignores it.

"Ginger freak, look over here!"

"WHAT?!"

The red head, or ginger freak as Eric would say, turns suddenly and it's at that moment that Eric realizes that though Butters will be a fun plaything this fiery teen will be much more interesting, much more challenging.

"Jeez, what crawled up your asshole this morning?"

"What's your problem?"

Eric looks to the kid sitting beside the day walker. He's the kind of handsome that's just plain irritating and Eric sends him a dirty look before returning his attention to the red head.

"Do you have any freckles?"

Kyle shoots him a disgusted look of his own. So far everyone in this room besides the boy at his side has just proven to be a weirdo so far and it's starting to seem that Eric is the biggest weirdo of them all even bigger than that weird kid who's watching this all unfold silently.

"You're a fucking freak."

"Hmm…. It doesn't look like you do…."

Eric's not even paying the insult attention just examining the boy's face carefully but there's no freckles, just some acne on his temples and white skin that's slowly turning pink.

Kyle isn't sure how to feel about Eric's staring. There's the same irritation as before but there's something else, hot and burning in his stomach and he's pretty sure it's just something he ate but before he knows it he's yelling again.

"Stop looking at me like that!"

"He's probably some kind of pervert or something."

Eric blinks a few time when he realizes that comment, courtesy of the dark haired boy in front of him, was directed at him and shakes his head, looking away to Butters, the blond's eyes shifting between the three teenagers.

"Hey, you….."

Butters perks up and looks to Eric and the hope in his eyes makes him want to laugh.

"Me?"

"Yeah, how about you walk out that door over there so there's one less freak I'll have to deal with."

Eric's surprised at how it feels when the brightness, that hope, in those pale blue eyes is suddenly gone again, Butters looking back at the table top. He's just surprised that he felt something, he figures he must be getting soft and shrugs only to turn back to the two teens at the table in front of him staring him down.

"You better watch yourself, Eric."

It's that dark haired kid again and Eric just rolls his eyes.

"Sure thing, jock strap, and don't call me Eric. You asswipes can call me Cartman."

"My name's Stan. Now why don't you just leave everybody alone already."

"Nobody gives a shit about what your name is anyways."

Eric laughs though it doesn't come as easily as before. He can't let these kids know that though so he places a hand over his chest as if offended.

"My, my you're a bitchy little day walker aren't you?"

"Um, wh-what's a day walker?"

Stan, Kyle, and Eric give Butters a quick look before Eric answers, boredom overtaking his expression as he explains himself.

"Well, you see a day walker is one level below a ginger and gingers just happen to be the worst things there are besides jews of course."

"I'm Jewish, you fucking fatass!"

Eric looks to Kyle, mortified, eyes wide and mouth open, practically speechless except for one word.

"Ew."

**A/N: Jeez, so there's a couple parts I was sad to cut out one being the part where the brain and the criminal take off their jackets at the same time and are weirded out by each other. I just thought that would've been some cute Buttman. Oh, well, I'll find ways to work Buttman into this fic.**

**Also I cut off before I could have Eric accuse Kyle and Stan that they're dating but that just comes so naturally that I'm sure I'll be able to add that part.**

***responses, responses, responses***

**- XXforget-x-me-x-notXX = When watching the movie I realized just how natural the boys fit into each part and Kyle being the princess was one of the most obvious.**

**- serendipityrain711 = Yes, the Kyman is strong in this fic. You must remember that the criminal and princess DID kiss in the movie ;)**

**- SMAK101 = Well, thanks for the liking and the review, dear!**

**- Zombiekiler29 = *looks around the room awkwardly, shuffling my feet* Um… you have seen the movie, right? You did read my message to serendipityrain711, right?**

**Anyways see you all soon!**

**Thanks for reading 3**


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